Wednesday, September 12, 2018

"We need to unburden suicidal minds" ~ Thoughts on Agony Autie's Video

Agony Autie, an autistic self-advocate named Sara Harvey, posted this raw and honest video about her experience in dealing with mental health "professionals" regarding her suicide ideation.

I wanted to share this because I think it's very important that doctors, hospitals, and other mental health resources develop a more helpful response to suicidal people.

"We need to unburden suicidal minds"

I'll also sum it up here.

Hospitals, doctors, police, and even dedicated mental health teams are not always equipped to truly help suicidal people. (Depends on the location and doctors.) In fact, the "help" they offer can easily make them feel worse. Sara points out that the typical advice for suicidal people is to "talk to someone" or "seek help"... but she emphasizes that you have to be careful who you talk to.

Friends, family, and trusted people can often be more helpful and involved than hospitals, doctors, etc.

~ This next part is about me. (Alyssa) ~

I remember when I was around 16-17 years old, I had a breakdown due to suicide ideation... I told my mother, and she took me to the hospital out of concern for me. She was there with me the whole time. I told a therapist at the hospital what I was thinking about, that I wanted to kill myself, and that even at that moment I thought about banging my head on the floor. The therapist strongly recommended I stay in the psych unit overnight.

My mother asked if the psychiatrists/psychologists knew anything about Asperger's, and they said they didn't know. (if that's not a bad sign then I don't know what is.)

So my mother refused to allow them to admit me. They threatened to call DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services), but my she didn't listen and took me home.

They were hesitant to discharge me, but because of her, they finally did let us leave. My mom slept on the floor in my room that night; I am thankful for that, as it allowed me to feel safe and comforted enough to sleep. It's just what I needed, not a hospital.

I was terrified at the idea of staying at a hospital or psych ward. The environment was so unfriendly to my senses and people didn't seem to know how to help me. I felt worse every moment I was at that hospital, not better, and was relieved to be allowed to go back home.

Hospitals feel more like a prison than a place for healing.

shouldn't punish suicidal people for feeling suicidal. We shouldn't act like it's criminal to want the pain to stop.

We need to acknowledge it for what it is: the result of a mind and body so overwhelmed that it cannot cope.

In my opinion, the best medicine is love and care, a safe place to be yourself, and validation of your feelings and experiences as a human being. That would certainly help me more than any hospital could, when it comes to suicide ideation.

P.S. Thanks, Mom.


  1. Talk about tone deaf; causing a mental breakdown, then posting about suicide ideation the next day. :P If you are reading this before she deletes it, abandon ship! She writes about suffering trauma, but dished it out consistently for 2 years!

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