Tuesday, January 28, 2014

How am I doing? Great. :D

I thought I might as well make a brief post to update you all on what I've been up to.

First of all, things have been busy, busy, busy. I'm going back and forth between homework, making paper flowers (to hopefully sell soon), and working on the Asperger's documentary project (I will post about it at some point).

As for me, I've been doing GREAT!! I feel as if the fatigue I usually suffer from due to my AS is practically non-existent. I can work long hours at the computer and be productive all day. This is wonderful because most of my work is on the computer. However, in spite of my sudden feeling of incredible capability, I still have Asperger's, so I've still got my sensory issues and other symptoms. Only difference now is that I can recover from them more quickly. I just feel like I can endure so much more now, which is absolutely wonderful...

I sometimes find myself thinking, "Do I still have Asperger's?" and when I really think about it, the answer is yes. I've just learned to adapt so well that I've overcome many of my difficulties. However, AS is still AS, so there will be features of it I'll always have. But it's quite worth it because they make me who I am. Funny thing is, I almost want some of those difficulties back to keep me in check, because they've strengthened me so much; and if I don't struggle anymore, how will I continue to grow?

Friday, January 3, 2014

Prince Charming? Nah. I Like the Whimsical Eccentric. (My Thoughts on Marriage)

What is it with girls preferring charismatic, good-looking guys who enjoy silly human activities like sports? As far as I know, they’re entrenched in a world of social rules, reputations, and competition.
I'm just not into that.

My mother had always told me that I deserve the best, that I ought to marry a capable man with little to no psychological disabilities who can provide for me, preferably a handsome one too… and though I've always made a point not to get into a relationship with anyone who has a disorder, I've learned that it simply doesn't work that way for me.

If I were to get married (which currently seems necessary from a survival standpoint), I want someone who knows what it’s like to live in the shadow of society, an alien amongst humans, yet confident in himself and able to adapt. If this person has interesting quirks of his own, surely he’d be able to understand me and my strange ways.
But so far, I've figured out that most people with these features happen to have a disability of some sort.

Honestly, I don’t care anymore whether the man I marry has psychological abnormalities or not. I've got issues, and pretty much everyone I know has issues, regardless of their neurological status. Of course, I want someone who can take care of themselves as well as me, but I find myself more attracted to those with aspie traits because I can understand them better.

NT's are complicated, with their social expectations, subtle forms of communication, and occasionally, hidden motives. I dislike being unaware of what people are thinking, so I find it frustrating when people aren't being honest with me.

Aspies on the other hand are more simple to me; most are up front about their intentions, which I appreciate. Of course, there are a few downsides, such as miscommunication and having to explain things in a way that they understand. I'm hoping to find someone more on my level of functioning so I won't have too much of that problem. In any case, I will never tire of a unique and quirky personality if I like the person enough.

And if my future husband is pretty to look at, it’s a bonus.