I suppose this is a good a time as any to
write, since my brain is going in circles and circles and circles and circles
and circles -smacks my face with a pillow- ... ah, that's better.
Today is supposed to be my day off. My days
off are a little different from most I think--the average person will still be
active, doing little things here and there that didn't get done during the
week... like sending emails, checking Facebook, doing a bit of shopping,
spending time with friends, etc. I can't do that. Every little thing I have on
my list to do bounces around in my head until it's done, allowing me no
relief.
Now for my days off, I want to do NOTHING.
Well not literally, but I want that to be my approach, to go into it thinking I
have no schedule. Then when I wake up, I won't immediately be burdened with
things I to do, places to go, people to see, etc. I can follow my brain
wherever it leads me. I could really end up doing nothing if my brain isn't
feeling up to it, or I could do a bunch of things. I could record myself
singing, or write something, or make YouTube videos... basically leaning
towards my creative hobbies.
My brain is like a wild horse (not sure why I
chose that analogy cuz I'm not a fan of horses) that needs to be set free every once in
a while, not tied to any schedule or task or purpose. I'm a free spirit, fluid
like water, and I don't want to be trapped by the [boundaries of time and space.] As an aspie, I do value routine and it helps me greatly during the week, but on
the weekends I want none of it. I want a day to go back to my planet, with no
reminders of earth's annoyances whatsoever: not my Facebook newsfeed, an email, a
friend saying hello, the latest news, intrusive advertisements, etc.
 |
| Home, sweet home... |
I'm sure my fellow aspie friend Katie can
sympathize with me on this one. That's one reason why I like hanging out with
her a lot... we both have a taste for freedom, and actually act on it by going
on little adventures that don't fit with our daily routines. We love biking
places and discovering things nearby, whether it's a pretty area for a picnic,
interesting shops in town, or even just snacks at the grocery store. And all
the while I'd be listening to Katie talk about her life and her inner world,
and occasionally join her in being delighted by something in the environment
that grabs her attention. It's like a wonderful freedom from my daily life,
with no pressure, stress, or time constraints. I don't want those things limiting my enjoyment of life.
I wonder if any other aspies out there feel this
way?
