Thursday, December 17, 2020

Why charities cannot replace SSI (from my experience)

Why is SSI necessary? Why don't we rely on charities to support low-income disabled people?

I was reading about different political ideologies, and came across Libertarianism which largely doesn't believe in government safety nets like SSI.

I read different opinions from different libertarians (cuz like, everyone differs), and got a variety of responses to the hypothetical question:

"How would disabled people get support in a libertarian society?"

Libertarian 1: "The free market means they'll have easier access to work."
(Me: Fair, but what about the permanently and severely disabled who can't work at all?)

Libertarian 2: "They die. Not my problem."
(Me: Ouch.)

Libertarian 3: "Charities will take the place of government support."
(Me: Maybe for short term, but have you ever relied on a charity?)

That last response particularly caught my attention since I've had personal experience with trying to get help from charities, hence the topic of this post. 

(Note: This post is not meant to harp on libertarians, and not all libertarians share the opinions mentioned above. Reading about Libertarianism is just how I got to this topic.)

From personal experience, while charities can help with some specific short-term needs, most are simply incapable of providing substantial long-term support. Any support they do offer is minimal and sad (but really depends on the charity tbh).


Most food pantries only offer pre-packaged shelf stable food, meaning anything fresh is off the table, and those with food allergies will likely go without. So people like me rely on food stamps to feed myself without seriously compromising my health.

There are some rare exceptions though. I used to go to a food pantry that did offer fresh vegetables, fruit, and frozen meats, and that was a freakin' lifesaver. But I've never found another like it since.


Charity medical care is terrifying. Once I had to wait 4-6 hours outside a church to get a cavity filled, only to be greeted by huge crowds / sensory overload, sermons in the waiting room (triggering for me due to religious PTSD / OCD), ancient medical technology (weirdest handheld x-ray machine I've ever seen), and dental students instead of fully trained dentists (I got the filling anyway cuz I had no choice).

Medicaid doctors and dentists aren't much better, but that's besides the point. I'd take a Medicaid dentist over that charity dental day thing anytime. (Though in any case, I can brush my own teeth better than the cleanings I've gotten covered by Medicaid.)

Many charities are also religious and actively try to convert you as you're receiving support. I'm all for freedom of religion, but I should also have the freedom to not be harassed when all I need is some food or a dental cleaning. Converting to a religion, adhering to their ideology-based rules, or being preached to (non-consensually, might I add) should not be a pre-requisite to receiving support, in my opinion.

I was able to tolerate these experiences because I don't rely on them 24/7. I am lucky enough to be on SSI. I'm certain I would die early of severe stress if I had to rely on charities. So thank the stars for SSI.


After my reading on Libertarianism, I did some searching (specifically on YouTube) to see if anyone else on the interwebs was noticing or pointing out similar issues with charity. Sadly, most of the top results were blaming the flaws of charity on "encouraging" dependency of "lazy poor people" and the failure of recipients to become independent after receiving such benevolent (*sarcasm*) aid.

While I'm sure some people do take advantage of charity and don't make effort to improve their life, it's awfully hard put forth that effort if the support you receive is so minimal that you're stuck in a stressful limbo of barely functioning.

I don't think everyday, well-off people would even want to accept the abysmal "help" many charities offer... because why on earth would anyone want wait hours in a line to receive a few cans of green beans? (Often, not even people who really need it are able to do this.)

The suggestion that the poor are simply "lazy" misses the fact that poverty is often more of a systemic problem than an individual onewhich is a major reason why one-time / short-term charity supports cannot magically fix someone's poverty or make them self-sufficient.

I believe that what's often deemed as "lazy" seems less about willful inactivity and more about responding to situational barriers. This thoughtful article sums it up pretty well.

In my search for material that addresses the systemic nature of poverty without degrading the poor, I came across this helpful video, check it out!

What's been your experience getting support from charities? Helpful? A hindrance? Downright impossible? Comment below.

Is there a better concept than SSI that could support low-income disabled folks just as well or better? If so, what would it would look like? I'm curious to hear what y'all come up with in the comments. (be respectful tho. :))

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Easy Rice Cooker Pasta Recipe ~ Autistic Survival Guide

I made a super simple recipe that could be manageable for autistic people, those with ADHD or executive dysfunction, disabled folks and other spoonies. I wanted to share it in a video, so here it is! Click here for a printable recipe.

What kind of life hack videos would you find useful? Comment below! I may make more Autistic Survival Guide videos in the future.

Monday, October 19, 2020

"Cursed Waters" Virtual Film Screening on YouTube

Join the nostalgia ride with me as we watch Cursed Waters live on YouTube!

Drop by my channel via this link (at the scheduled time) to watch:
If you want to join the live chat, make sure you are signed into your Google account.

I will be available for answering questions and general chatting before and after the film. We may also have a special guest!

Watch the trailer here:

I recently advertised the movie in Pirates Online (TLOPO), my favorite pirate-themed MMO, in story format for an event called Dread Poet's Storytime. Listen to the story here for some snippets from the movie! (story transcript below the video)
Note: TLOPO has an annoying chat censor so I had to re-type some stuff xD lol

There once was a lad named Eli Lark. Clever, eager and hardworking, if not a bit bratty at times... and poor as dirt.

Eli was working at the Dancing Monkey tavern, serving root beer to wandering sailors, when a mysterious bearded stranger with a particularly terrifying parrot tipped him off that a certain pirate captain was looking for some crew. 

It would be a prosperous venture for the poor-as-dirt Eli.

Twas good timing, as Eli's soulless old boss fired him that very same day in order to hire an ultimately more talented resident mouse ( literally... boss man was a little crazy. )

On his way home from work, Eli realized that he didn't know where to find the pirate captain that the bearded stranger mentioned.

In that same moment, he encountered a small cottage he had never seen before.  

He felt a strong urge to enter the cottage, so he did.

An old woman greeted him inside. She was a fortune teller, with voodoo and all that. Eli sat down to have his fortune told... mostly because the old lady wouldn't let him leave.

The old lady sat down, and a few moments of silence passed...

Finally, she spoke.


"Who are you? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE??" the scary old lady screeched, picking up a nearby stick with the intention to beat Eli with it.

"AAAAHHHH!!" Eli yelled. "I'm Eli! I'm here to get my fortune told!!"

"Oh, sorry..." the old lady apologized. "I am very forgetful. Now let's get started."

"I see in your future, there is a treasure. An evil man, and a woman! ...

And it will all take place on the island of Xixi. Great, GREAT evil rests on that island.

But you have to go, so have fun!" she said whimsically, handing Eli a small treasure chest as she shoved him out the door and slammed it behind him.

Eli stood dumbfounded... but at least he knew where to find the pirate captain now. The scary old lady had handed him a tacky brochure that pointed him in the right direction.

The young lad took a longboat, rowing out to an old ship with a squid emblem on the sails. He politely knocked on the side of the ship, and then scratched his head as a few barnacles fell atop his noggin.

"Who's there??" a voice... a FEMALE voice... shouted in response.

Eli felt nervous... he had heard of girls in the old legends, and know what they sounded like, but never in his life had he spoken to one.

"My name is Eli Lark!" Eli shouted back. "I've come to join your crew!"

"Well, come on up, Eli!" said the girl / woman thing. "I've been waiting for you."

Once Eli was aboard, the blue bandana wearing girl / woman thing shook his hand.

"I'm Elise Blackship." said the mysterious female. "Captain of the Squid."

Eli spoke several languages before finally landing on English.

"Nice to meet you." He finally said. "So... where are we going? Will we get treasure?? I'm so hungry lol."

"Get this man a biscuit, Dert." Elise gestured towards a pirate with striped pants and a dirty face.

"And to answer your question... we're seeking the treasure of James Vladimir. A cursed treasure it is, but among it resides the Stone of Xixi, a treasure that breaks all curses."

"Xixi? That scary old lady was right! This is my destiny!!" exclaimed Eli, dancing a jig in excitement.

Elise grabbed the rowboat oar and tripped Eli with it. "No funny business. What scary old lady? Who told you about Xixi??"

Eli relayed the info to Elise, and showed her the map. Elise lit up.

"You have the map??" she exclaimed. "Can we use it to find Xixi??"

"Not unless I get that biscuit you promised." Eli replied playfully.

Elise grumbled and gestured towards Dirt, who tossed Eli a biscuit. Eli wolfed it down immediately. Elise ignored his bad manners and asked more about the map, and together they went over the landmarks.

Eli was particularly interested in the duck statue on the map, by Xixi's shore. It made him giggle.

Time passed on their voyage, and Eli became friends with Rusty, the navigator; they bonded over their love of root beer and their dislike of intelligent mice who steal the tavern jobs of hardworking landlubbers.

Dert, the first mate, became like a brother to Eli. Many hours of card games and catching chickens felt like years of bonding.

On their way to Xixi, they were attacked by a ghost ship! These ghosts were also seeking the long lost treasure of Xixi Island and they would not tolerate competition.

After a long battle, they captured Elise's crew, including Eli.

"Where's your captain??" demanded the ghost ship's first mate, a rather crazed looking fellow who was petting his poorly made sock puppet.

Eli looked around. Captain Blackship was gone!

"I... I don't know." said Eli. He looked at Rusty and Dert, hoping they knew where Elise had gone. They merely shrugged.

"Well, this is no good." said the ghostly first mate. "Let's maroon them! We'll find the captain later."

They made Eli and his new friends walk the plank, and they fell into the ocean with a *SPLASH!!*. Eli would have considered it a fun ride, had he not been in danger.

"Stay calm, lads." said Rusty. "Swim slowly and save your energy. There's the island up ahead."

When they reached the shore, they collapsed from exhaustion. But at least they were safe. Eli felt somewhat anxious, but glad that his friends were with him.

Eli propped himself up enough to look at the island.

"Guys... this place looks familiar." he said, his eyes fixed on something straight ahead of him.

There on the beach was a duck statue. They made it to Xixi Island.


Thursday, October 1, 2020

"Through My Eyes: Autistic Behavior" Virtual Presentation by Alyssa Huber

Tune in for my virtual presentation on autism, October 14th - 15th at the Northern Regional (Virtual) Conference on Developmental Disabilities! The event is free and open to the public. Check my events page for more info.

📅📲 Add this event to Google Calendar

  RSVP on Facebook

Presentation Title: "Through My Eyes: Autistic Behavior"

Description: "All behavior is communication or serves a function, and knowing what lies beneath behavior is crucial in any human interaction. This presentation discusses autistic behavior, how viewpoints of autistic people impact our interactions with them, and ways we can help them function better while encouraging healthy self-regulation."

I will post more information soon, with what time I'm presenting and the streaming platform(s). There are also other speakers, check out the brochure for more info... and keep scrolling for important website updates!

I hope to see you there!

WEBSITE UPDATE #1 ~ Event Calendars

I added two Google Calendars to the Events page! That way you can add any events you plan on attending to your calendar, or simply view any upcoming events in one place.

The first calendar, "Neurodiversity / Autism Events Calendar ~ Lushia's Neurodivergent Life" is for Lushia's autism related events, like discussion livestreams, speaking events, film screenings, and more. 

The second calendar, "Gaming Livestreams ~  LushiaGaming Calendar" shows all my scheduled gaming livestreams on Twitch. Tune in to watch me live and chat with me in real time!

WEBSITE UPDATE #2 ~ Visual Improvements

I changed the default font of my website to be more easily readable for those with dyslexia and information processing issues. I also lowered the contrast of the default font compared to the background. Examples of the change:



If any part of my site is still inaccessible or hard to read, let me know and I'll see what I can do.


Saturday, July 25, 2020

What Makes Me "Creepy"? Advice for Autistic guys on approaching women

This is for all you awesome autistic guys (and AMAB folks) out there who are attracted to women (and/or AFAB folks).

I know many (but not all) of you struggle to approach these lovely people for multiple reasons, and being perceived as "creepy" is a common obstacle--even if you are a genuinely nice person with the best of intentions.

For those who love and need in-depth explanations of social dynamics, I found a great video that thoroughly explains what traits and behaviors are often perceived as "creepy" and why. (TW for descriptions of sexual harassment)

Note: This video seems to mainly be aimed at guys (& AMAB people) but could be useful for other people as well.
--> Also, keep reading for a useful article on reading body language, it's definitely related.


Since many of these points can be attributed to social ambiguity and awkwardness (plus some relating to appearance management like hygiene... a struggle for some autistics), it's not surprising that autistic people sometimes "creep" out other people, especially neurotypicals.

Part of this may be due to differences in communication and social norms (autistics basically have their own culture), but I think it's multiplied when an autistic person was not taught how to properly navigate other people's boundaries. In these cases, it's likely that they could creep out other autistics, too.

If a cis woman, AFAB person, and/or autistic person has previously experienced harassment (which is quite common for our kind), violating their boundaries (even unintentionally), could set off their fight or flight. Even bordering on boundary violation could have the same effect and contribute to you being perceived as "creepy."

Unfortunately... but learning is possible!

I hope that the insight in this video helps, so next time you approach a woman or AFAB person, you have a better idea of what kind of things could make them feel unsafe. But now that we know what to avoid... what do we do? How do we respond? And more importantly...

How do you even know if someone is uncomfortable?

A major answer is... Reading body language. (Unfortunately for autistics...)

Some people will outright tell you, but even in those cases, it's often preceded by some sort of non-verbal cue (even autistics do this!) that communicates their discomfort. Catching the discomfort early makes a huge difference.

Read this awesome article for specific examples of body language and possible meanings.

Social stuff is freakin' hard. I have mad respect for genuinely kind straight cis autistic guys who are trying their best to navigate social situations. It's frustrating when you want to connect but it's like a complicated game without instructions.

I hope my blog post, the video, and the article link provided you with some ideas of what to do and what to avoid, so the other person feels comfortable with you and you can connect more easily.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

"I am a disillusioned BCBA: Autistics are right about ABA" by NeuroClastic

This article, "I am a disillusioned BCBA: Autistics are right about ABA" by NeuroClastic is incredible. If you are considering becoming a BCBA, or putting your child in ABA (or if they already are), please read this article first. 

On another note, many Autistics are dehumanized and treated this way outside of ABA, too. I witnessed it happening all the time in special ed and other settings, and I had internalized those messages that I will not be loved and cared for unless I act neurotypical. It has been detrimental to my mental health.

Thankfully, I have been able to unlearn much of that in my adult years. I may not have been so lucky had I been put in ABA. 

ABA is like an intense, concentrated form of the gradual behavioral conditioning society pushes on autistic people.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

The Problem with ''Autism Mom'' Merch (and what to buy instead)

I got a Facebook ad for a shirt (not pictured in thumbnail, but it's in the video) that can be harmful to autistic people. I explain why the shirt is harmful, and some alternatives that are more supportive. Support my work! (one-time donation) The Ableist History of the Puzzle Piece How Autism Speaks has NOT been kind to autistic people Before you donate to Autism Speaks, consider the facts Self-regulation methods that have helped me feel my best Fierce Autie edited the sunflower shirt design and made it auesome! BETTER AUTISM MERCH, FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE (that supports #ActuallyAutistic people) Neurodiversi-Tee
Fierce Autie Neurodivergent Rebel Growing Up Autie BETTER AUTISM T-SHIRTS, FOR PARENTS, FRIENDS AND ALLIES "Autism Acceptance" on teepublic "Autism Acceptance" on zazzle "#RedInstead Autism Acceptance" "Light it up gold - Autism Acceptance" "Celebrate Neurodiversity" "Embrace Neurodiversity" "Neurodiversity is human diversity"

Vanessa Blevin's page "Parenting Through The Fog"
Autism Support Groups & Resources Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Gaming Channel (Twitch) My Blog Facebook
Twitter ---MUSIC CREDITS--- "Inspired" Kevin MacLeod ( Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License "George Street Shuffle" Kevin MacLeod ( Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Advocacy vs. Assholery

In the Autistic community, there is a difference between being angry about injustice / advocating hardcore for change, vs. being an asshole to your own people.

Getting angry at corporations partnering with Autism Speaks = Good ✔️

Gently educating non-autistic parents about the harms of ABA = Good ✔️

Policing the preferred language and identities of fellow autistics = ❌ Bad

Harassing helpful autistic advocates off the internet due to a single disagreement or mistake = ❌ Bad

We are all humans

It helps to avoid having an "us vs. them" mentality and recognize that we are all humans with strengths and flaws, unique circumstances, different upbringings, and all kinds of traumas.

Harassment ≠ Change

Harassment does not help educate or make change, unless the change you want is to scare the other person into a corner.

It's totally reasonable to request removal or alteration of harmful content or statements. It helps to explain why it is harmful too, if the person is genuinely ignorant.

However, if a fellow autistic advocate is doing tangible good, a small mistake should not warrant complete removal of that person from the internet.

On language policing...

If an autistic person is seeking help, validation, or sharing their story with others, but you disagree with their use of functioning labels or how they identify, consider whether it's useful or not to correct them.

You may have a strong opinion on how someone identifies, but their identity is ultimately their own choice. They may be coming from a different perspective.

Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to vent when you need to. We've faced so much abuse and trauma and it's not right. Just don't harass or invalidate others in the process.

The cycle of abuse stops with us.

Educate, do not force.

3 Days Left! $2.99 for "Through Our Eyes" DVD

There's only a few days left to grab a copy of "Through Our Eyes: Living with Asperger's" Special Edition DVD for only $2.99!

Since it's Autism Acceptance month, I wanted to make this film more accessible on DVD for people on the spectrum, educators, and parents.

Get a copy from my shop by clicking here.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Autistic Reacts to "Light it up Blue" Autism $peaks' Video ._.

I decided to actually watch Autism Speaks' "awareness" videos for 2020 and give my opinion as someone on the autism spectrum who has been aware of/researched the organization since 2015-ish.

The videos are short, but still telling about some of the organization's shortcomings.

They have not changed much over the years. Check out these infographics which explain the problematic aspects of Autism Speaks. The first infographic is from their 2010 budget and the second is from the 2018 budget. (more resources below) 



"The Horrors of Autism Speaks" by iilluminaughtii  "The Truth About Autism Speaks" by Stephany Bethany ➤ "What's Wrong with Autism Speaks?" by Ask an Autistic  "Why Autistic People Generally Dislike Autism Speaks" by Neurodivergent Rebel
Autistic Self-Advocates List Autism Support Groups & Resources Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Support my work! My Website Facebook Twitter

Friday, April 3, 2020

"The Life of an Aspie" Re-branding (Again)

"The Life of an Aspie" is now "Lushia's Neurodivergent Life." aka @NeuroLushia.

This is likely the last time I will re-brand. I decided to make this change for two reasons:

#1. The Asperger's diagnosis is no longer in use (at least in the USA), and has a problematic history and is considered controversial. Same goes for the term "aspie."

#2. I have other conditions that make me Neurodivergent, so it made more sense to me to label my blog with "Neurodiversity" since I talk about not only autism, but Neurodiversity and mental health. Discovering I was multiple also pushed me in this direction.

I hope this clears up any confusion--It's still me, Alyssa Huber from the old The Life of an Aspie, renamed (as a person) "Lushia," and re-branded as "Lushia's Neurodivergent Life" or @NeuroLushia.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

A Letter to Nickelodeon... (On Promoting Hate Groups)

TW: silencing of autistic voices

This. is. not. okay.

Nickelodeon is deleting comments from autistics left and right on their post promoting Autism Speaks on their official Facebook page.

Even my comment, which I very carefully worded to be calm, rational and polite, was deleted.

Pay attention. The 3.1K total comment count includes deleted comments.

There are only 1,908 comments remaining. They deleted 1/3 of the total comments, about 1,000 comments. That's an awful lot of censorship.

Proof that comments are being deleted:

Nickelodeon, have you considered WHY you're getting so many comments from autistics, who are understandably upset that you would promote an organization with a problematic history (that continues even now) of stigmatizing autistic people, excluding their voices, and promoting their abuse?

I believe you had the best intentions with your post, and if you're unfamiliar with the history of Autism Speaks, the angry comments you're getting seem to be coming out of nowhere. But there are many compelling reasons why most #ActuallyAutistic people do not support Autism Speaks and why you shouldn't either.


Autism Speaks is the PETA of autism organizations. Fear-mongering, and doing more harm than good. It is a hate group disguised as a charitable organization.

Look beyond simple statements from Autism Speaks and actually research their history, what they stand for, and what they are STILL doing that is harmful for our community. They promote quack "medicine," anti-vax propaganda, and stigmatizing views and outright abuse of autistic people (look up Judge Rotenburg Center, and ABA Therapy).

This video gives a good summary of why Autism Speaks is awful.

Their funding is also flawed--only 2% goes towards "family services" while the rest is for searching for a "cure" that doesn't exist (Autism is a neurotype, not a disease!), salaries, and stigmatizing ad campaigns. This video does an excellent job breaking down what percentage of each donation goes where.

Here's a helpful graphic with more info on their funding.

Here is their most infamous and stigmatizing "awareness" campaign advertisement.


#1. Delete your posts promoting Autism Speaks. It doesn't matter how much they paid you to post it, or how good your intentions were, or how seemingly "harmless" the words in the post are. Please delete it.

#2. Promote organizations that actually help autistic people, like The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWNN)! They are run BY autistic people, FOR autistic people, doing tangible good for our community.

Also, check out the Autistic Gaming Initiative, a monthly event hosted by autistic gamers to raise money for ASAN and AWNN. Sharing our website and events will also help!
(I stream on there too, my name is Lushia on the AGI website, and LushiaGaming on Twitch.

#3. Amplify autistic voices. You have a large platform and a huge audience, with kids especially--it will be really important for autistic kids to know that there other autistics out there advocating for equality and better quality of life for them!

Here is an excellent list of autistic self-advocates online. (post below)


We will not tolerate abuse of autistic people.
We will not tolerate being treated like children.
We will not tolerate being silenced.

Please stop trying to stamp out autistic voices, and take our concerns seriously. WE are the face of autism, not Autism Speaks. These issues directly affect our lives and its important that people in power are being responsible, and not promoting organizations and ideas that do serious damage to autistic people.

You have the privilege of a wide reach and a loud voice, please use it wisely.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Autistic Adulting 101: Be a Practical Karen (January)

Image result for karen memes
(Disclaimer: This is a post about assertiveness and self-advocacy. Not about being an actual Karen.)

As an autistic who has always tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, something I learned is that you have to be thorough and persistent to get what you need. You can't always trust that someone (ESPECIALLY corporate peoples) is being honest and will follow through or keep promises.

An important lesson I learned from watching my dad negotiate over the phone + much trial and error + unfortunate consequences is to assume that everyone is incompetent. This isn’t a healthy view when applied to everything (especially regarding loved ones—I’d rather assume the best from them!), but it certainly helps prevent me from getting burned by insurance companies, medical offices, government agencies, and any organization looking to make money off me.

The “Huber” way according to my dad is to assume incompetence, be persistent, and negotiate to get what you need and want in life. You should never have a pay an unjustified bill or tolerate being scammed.

I certainly did not inherit this attitude… I had to learn it.

When you think a problem is resolved, because someone says "I'll take care of it," don't just leave it up to them and wait... Check on them, ask about it, remind them, be specific, etc. And whenever possible, do whatever you can to resolve an issue on your own since you can't trust random people who are only focused on profit.

I learned this from dealing with people lying to me about my insurance benefits, the quality of products I buy, and customer/tech support agents who don't actually read my questions in emails, and many other scenarios where I had to be assertive and communicate clearly.

So I've become a Karen. A really annoying Karen. But you gotta be a Karen to get what you need in this capitalist society that's got way too many people in it who don't have time or motivation to be helpful.

P.S.: A "Karen" is a stereotype of a person who is irritable, entitled and "wants to see your manager," but in the context of this post it is someone who is persistent and doesn't give up until she gets what she wants, even if others think she is trying too hard. I’ve just been conditioned to be super passive, so even “normal” assertiveness feels like I’m being an asshole. So I just embrace my own concept of being an “asshole” so I can have “normal” boundaries. :P

That being said, you can be a “Karen” without being a jerk. Just aim to be calm, factual, thorough, and persistent.


Health Insurance + Doctors

Here is an example of how I learned to be calm, factual, thorough, and persistent:

When I first got my own health insurance (Medicaid/Medicare), I had no idea what I was doing. (It's worth noting that I am in the USA, so I'm navigating a mess of a healthcare system.)

I did realize that I needed to check if insurance covers procedures. But I started asking in the wrong place: my doctor's office.

I used to ask my doctor if a certain procedure would be covered by insurance. The doctor would say "Oh yes, it definitely is." But then I'd get a huge bill in the mail from the doctor’s office.

Image result for huge medical bill

How could they lie to me?? Well, the doctor probably didn't have the right information (they're not my insurance company) and just wanted to reassure me, or was in a rush to do their job and not focus on the details.

Since then, I learned that I had to call my insurance to check my benefits before getting any medical treatment. But even insurance agents would give the wrong info when I'd ask what is covered. Sometimes it's because I called a "general" phone line for an insurance company and not the phone line for my specific plan.

So from that point I'd call the phone line specifically for my plan. But sometimes, I’d get conflicting answers to my questions--one agent would give me "info A" and another agent would give me "info B"

So I learned that I have to ask more than one agent the same questions.

When that failed (like if I still got a bill), I started reading my insurance manuals. And I realized then that I needed to ask not only if certain procedures are covered, but if every step of anything medical-related is covered.... From transportation, to making an appointment, the doctor deciding to do a seemingly meaningless action or "test" that they don't tell me I could be charged for.

And since I had to find new doctors when I switched to Medicaid/Medicare, I realized that I check with my doctor and my insurance company to make sure that doctor was in my network (meaning: covered by my insurance).

So now my steps are to: 
1. Ask a doctor if they take my insurance
2. Ask my insurance if that doctor is in network
3. Read my insurance manual
4. Call my insurance
5. Ask several different agents the same questions.
6. Repeat the above steps until I've thoroughly annoyed everyone but got consistent answers and results.

Side Note: Something that I realized DOESN'T work for everything from the Huber Method™ is sob stories. People want cold hard facts. (especially for issues like health insurance). So if I get a bill in the mail and don't think I should pay it, I need to back up my reasons with evidence, like from my insurance manual, instead of simply saying "I'm disabled and poor etc." (though that can be useful in getting my needs met in some circumstances.)

Buying Stuff
(This section is written by Ayden cuz January got tired of writing.)

I learned that people also lie to you in order to sell you stuff. Surprise!

I have been in need of a new mattress for a while now due to back and neck pain. I’ve had the same old just-OK twin-size spring mattress for most of my life. So I shopped around, tried out different mattresses in search of the absolute softest one.

Image result for mattress
Mmm, sleep... something I'm lacking cuz I'm writing this stupid post

I settled on the softest one at my local Mattress Firm, but it turned out to not be all that soft—it took a few months of sleeping on it for me to figure that out. So I returned it and looked for a softer mattress.

My parents have the most luxurious mattress I’ve ever laid on. Super deep mushy top layer, but still supportive—exactly what I needed.

Note: I am a picky person. Idk if this is due to being autistic, but I need things to be just right, or I won't use them. So I gotta be Super Karen and go the extra mile to find precisely what I need and do whatever it takes to get it.

Since I liked my parents' mattress so much, I decided to find the exact same one, a Serta something-something.

Turns out that mattress doesn’t exist anymore. Serta discontinued it. So I called Serta (well, my dad did cuz I was struggling with phone calls at the time, and he’s a Level 100 Karen) with the model #, and they gave me an option that supposedly had the exact same foam layers as my parents’ bed, but even softer. I was totally game for that. So I bought it.

Almost two months later and I get off my lazy butt and decide to actually compare my new Serta mattress to my parents’ Serta mattress. And NOPE. It’s not the same at all. I DO have a mushy top layer, but it’s much more shallow, so my bed feels kinda firm in comparison to my parents’.

So I did some research on the specs of these beds and turns out that YEP, they have different layers.

So, I’ve just been lied to and screwed over. I’m gonna call Serta myself with the specs information and ask if they have a mattress that meets the EXACT specifications of my parents’ mattress, and to direct me to a link or something with proof of the specifications before I buy another bed.

There’s a chance that the Serta agent was genuinely ignorant about the differences between the mattresses, in that case I’d be more sympathetic. But it’s frustrating either way, to buy a big ticket item only to realize you got the wrong one.

Also! Don’t buy something just cuz someone says it's good. Bad idea. It’s never as good as they say.

Customer Support
(Alyssa wrote this section)

I’ve also had issues getting problems resolved via customer service or tech support.

Image result for customer support

For example, I just became a Twitch Affiliate (meaning I can make a few bucks from ads on my livestreams), and my viewers told me that no ads were showing up during my streams when I hit the “ad break” button.

It had been over a week since I was approved, so the ads should have been working! I decided to contact Customer Support to figure out what was going on.

My question was something like:
“I became a Twitch Affiliate over a week ago. When I hit the “ad break” button on my live streams, ads do not show up for my viewers. What is going on and how can I fix it?”
This was the reply from Twitch's Customer Support:
“We can understand how frustrating it is when ads play too much, or ignore our built in volume limits. Whenever this happens please make sure to use the “Options” gear on the video, and under “Report Playback Issue”, there are options for “Advertisement has played too many times” and “Advertisement cannot be muted or is too loud”.”
If you haven’t noticed yet, the customer support agent completely missed the mark, thinking I was reporting getting too many ads (likely as a viewer) when my issue was no ads at all (as a streamer/Affiliate).

I’m guessing this was either an automated reply or that the customer service agent was only copying/pasting a scripted answer because they either didn’t have an answer, or didn’t read my question in the first place.

I eventually figured it out on my own and the ads are finally working. I’m still having some other technical issues though, so I’m gonna be annoyingly persistent in contacting support until I get someone to actually read my questions and answer me, but I won't stop streaming because of it. Sometimes you just gotta make do until you get the answer or solution you need. Don't let the incompetence of a company or person stop you from living your life.

Trust me, I get it. I used to waste my time "waiting" for answers because I hate uncertainty, but all that did is cause me incredible anxiety. So I decided to address the issue, but then move on with my life while I wait for answers, or until the next time I contact someone for a solution. It's easier to do that while I'm clear-headed, anyway.

I will say that not all customer support services are like my experience with Twitch’s customer support. Amazon for example has excellent customer service. (Of course, their poor treatment of their employees is questionable, but that’s another conversation.) They actually answer questions quickly and try to solve the problem right away. Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by Amazon :P I just really like Amazon’s services.


I've realized that the adult world is basically a bunch of kids pretending to be adults--no one knows what they're doing and they're just making it up as they go along sometimes in order to survive.

This means you can't rely on people to be giving you correct information. I always anticipate people disappointing me or being wrong, because it happens all the time.

But that doesn't mean I should live in fear and anxiety about being disappointed. I try to have a cold and factual approach to these situations. If I'm too emotionally invested or get my hopes up, I'm just setting myself up for failure.

I can proudly say that I have overcome much of my anxiety (and emotional distress) around solving issues like the ones in this post. Of course, I still get reasonably angry when people are unhelpful or dishonest, but I’m not completely paralyzed by these situations as often. That’s progress.

Moral of the story:
Be annoying. Ask questions. Be a Karen.