Sunday, February 16, 2014

Vael - My Inner Realm

Vael is my realm; my inner world. One of the few places where I actually have control, and my dreams run free. A beautiful place where I can be safe.

What is Vael?

It's a fantasy world I dreamed up when I was about 15 or 16. Around this time, I started shifting from my obsession with pirates to an obsession with things like fantasy and angel wings.

The theme of Vael is fantasy because its a flexible genre that allows all kinds of unique developments. And after 5+ years... oh, has it developed! It began with a culture with medieval-style architecture, then became an advanced society with moon folk, technology, and magic.

Images that inspired Vael

How Vael Was Created
Vael originated from a need to express myself... since I have Asperger's, I would often fail at expressing emotions appropriately. I was quite sensitive and had to teach myself not to cry when I didn't get my way. It was very difficult, because I felt emotions very strongly when I was a teen, and sometimes even frightened people by things I said when my emotions got the better of me. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why I seemed ignored by certain friends, so I turned to the internet to make new friends who hopefully would accept me. I found quite a few on a 3-D chat program called IMVU (which I will write about in a future post), and I loved to tell stories with them through roleplaying since I wasn't too great at conversation. My first character was Shira, a cute little angel girl who would tag along on adventures.

Shira on IMVU
 [For those of you who don't know, the term "roleplaying" has several  meanings, and the one I'm referring to is telling a story through IM and  chats, where each person would take turns typing dialogue and actions.]

Mikio and Lushia
However, my emotional problems showed through all of this, and I lost many friends because of it.
But there was one friend who stuck with me... 
his name is Eddy, and he's from the UK. I met him on IMVU, but eventually we switched to Windows Live Messenger for roleplaying. I showed him my world, and he went with me everywhere, exploring the land and going on important missions with me. His character, Mikio, was brave, kind, and ready for just about anything. My new character, Lushia, was fun-loving and eager, though somewhat vulnerable and dependent upon the support of her friends.

My Sanctuary
Aside from the main plotline, I'd occasionally initiate a side-story based on how I felt at the moment. Sometimes, when I would got a creative "high," we would end up in a beautifully ethereal place like my Sanctuary. Here, it was always spring, with flowers dotting the endless hills. I would also describe the sky and water from lakes and streams in detail...

While I often had creative "highs," other times I'd have "lows"... and usually these were a result of my negative emotions overwhelming me. These roleplays were often intense and dramatic. For instance, one of them involved Lushia running through the rain as if to escape 
something—with the concerned Mikio following behind—until she leads them into a shack where Lushia experiences bouts of fear as Mikio attempts to console her.

The fact that Eddy stuck with me not only through the fun and adventurous times, but through the cryptic and intensely emotional episodes, completely blew my mind. He was the first to enter Vael without abandoning me in it, and this split my mind wide open to new possibilities. My world of one became a world of two, and Ed left the door open for more.

^ A past Christmas present for Ed... we'd often talk/roleplay late into the night

He's still one of my best friends to this very day, in spite of the fact that we don't talk as much due to the busyness of college life. He's one of the few—and perhaps only—people who have gotten that close to me without leaving a single negative mark on me.

So thanks, Eddy. I know I've told you a billion times how awesome you are, but I'll tell you again anyway. You're freaking awesome. :D

I may post more information about Vael in the future. I'll have to post about my guardian angel soon anyway, as he dwells in Vael...

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